Delights Distribution

on Monday, October 20, 2008

Wouldn't you agree that God seems to shine in the twelfth hour? Sometimes it feels we have reached the 13th hour until our heart once again feels the lightness and release we savour. Isn't it when we are leaning on Him real hard though, that time seems to tick so slowly?

Time. It sure is passing for me. My face shows smile lines even when I’m not smiling, my belly skin has stretched just like my favourite jumper from housing twelve tenants and the beautiful memory of my grandmother freshens every time I look at my hands.

But time has definitely favoured me in my heart and mind. In my youth, I wallowed in relationships oblivious to the depth they added to my life. Yet my efforts were to “do”, to become, to prove, to acquire. Of course these aren’t wrong in themselves but separated from simply being His daughter and enjoying Him and His, they are empty.

Now I recognise that I don’t need to be well liked, successful or financial to feel spoilt and my circumstances no longer have the same power over disturbing my peace. I see the amazing reality of living as a princess in the superfluous toys He gives to me which are uniquely shaped to my quirks. These delights do not come my way because I deserve them or because I have earned them but just because He is good.

In my space, in this time, He is causing and desiring to let me live my life to the fullest.So knowing this, do I need to have time down the coffee shop with my man or opportune times to pursue personal passions or even a time to cruise with a soul mate who is transparent and knows my life intimately? Only God knows what to release in my life to cause depth and substance. Those who are instrumental in His delights distribution would have to be in collaboration with Him, tight with the ultimate gift giver to know when, what and how my 12th hour spring will come; my time. And I enjoy the anticipation in knowing that the One Who is able, enables others to make my heart swell beyond what I could have ever imagined.

Reason I Breath

on Monday, October 6, 2008

A cool breeze pushed through the open kitchen window and brushed across my face. Breathing deeply, I drew in the scent of the emerging evening and freshly cut grass, this enticing me to soak up the scene across the valley. Full and low, the sun was now setting red, lighting up the hill across the river. Cows were now rising to graze in the shade, lethargic from a searing summer’s day, their calves dancing energetically to the crickets’ song.

Inside, dinner smells still lingered through the kitchen and clung to my sticky baby who was perched on my lap. He was studying a small piece of paper, clumsily exchanging it from hand to hand and making contented noises. Nestling him in closer to me, my lips and cheek smoothed his downy head. All my senses stood on end; life was wonderful. I felt that small space inside me, which can sometimes feel so empty, burst with a warm fuzziness impossible to verbalize, words not even fringing on description. Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep savoring breath, only then to embrace an amazing sense of Gods presence. Such a feeling of wholeness, such a profound change in my view of life and only after a few minutes soaking up the essence of The One who loves me most.

This brief moment was shatter simultaneously by the sound of wet children running inside from an evening swim, a baby's frustrated squeals to achieve motor skills not attainable by one so young and a concerned alert to a crushed pancake that had annihilated behind the curtain, and Oh! Yes! A new smell had definitely clouded out the grass, the breeze and carefully prepared meal. The contents of a filled nappy jolted me back to the day to day events which busy my life, but now with a softer, gentler, more loving spirit.

Still, did He give me this moment to draw me closer, to fuel desire to seek “His face” or is it maybe possible that He just wanted to be with me be it only a few minutes of my hurried day. Both are likely, though possibly this was the only time all day I took to notice Him. How often I do that; struggle through my whole day alone yet God is right there waiting for me. Just like Peter who, sank when he took His eyes of Jesus while walking on the water, we sink if we don’t look to Him for our impetus in every thought, action and motive.

As the creator of imagination, He won’t always use cows, breezes and babies to catch our attention. Looking at Him and to Him always, He won’t become small or insignificant and comprehension will explode in our hearts of who He actually is; our creator, our all consuming fulfillment and our very purpose of life. We are to Him the object of His enveloping affection. He made us for Himself and when this fact takes root, we will hungrily seek Him and find ourselves in that sweet place of His presence way more than just a few stolen moments.

Seek my face [inquire for and require my presence as your vital need]. My heart says to You, Your face (Your presence), Lord, will I seek, inquire for, and require [of necessity and on the authority of Your Word]. - Ps 27:8 amp

Honourable Mention
Friday, 26 January 2001