Dearest Liz

on Tuesday, November 25, 2008


This letter has been very hard for me because I was concerned that in all my humanness, I would not be able to summarize who Liz C is to me and do it justice. I asked someone who loved & knew you totally & completely to whisper in my ear what to write but everything He would have to say is probably already in Hiz love letter ~ the Bible. So maybe I could just download my heart, although I’m not too sure if the language is compatible with ‘word’ ~ hey, there’s a great marketing idea for Michael.

I remember at home group around seven years ago, you shared the “ Window Theory”; the four glass panels with each one representing our influence in life. The first pane was what you and everyone knows about you, one was what you only know about yourself, one what others know about you and you didn’t, and I can’t remember the fourth but it’s not important. So I might just use that as a platform, share what I see looking through the 3rd pane and hopefully I perceive correctly that the window isn’t too distorted by dirt… like ours around here.

I see a woman of strength, who sincerely hungers after God’s heart; someone who truly desires to be changed and used for God’s purposes. I see someone who loves to worship and sit at God’s feet, who isn’t ashamed of her total adoration & reliance on God. I also notice a desire to “disciple” others through the journey God had taken you, your “mothers heart” nurturing people into focusing on His heart. I know I have a fellow sojourner in that God has led and taught us through similar paths and life lessons and there is nothing warmer than having someone “know” and empathize with daily struggles and issues and being able to express them to a compassionate ear.

You may have noticed that everything admirable I see in you is flavored by God. That’s because we are everything “in” Him and nothing without Him and your life is a reflection of that truth. Your confidence, your inner beauty and your heart comes straight from honestly knowing who you are in Christ.

My prayer was that I would say nothing to flatter but be totally honest. So maybe a good question not to ask me right now is “do I look fat in this?” My answer though may be influenced by the fact that you are 30ish weeks pregnant!! That is one more thing I am sure simmers in you and that is speaking the truth in love. Accountability is a precious gift one which is rare in friendships but a tool to catapult each other into a higher walk.

God, somehow use these scrambled thoughts, birthed amongst the daily noise and distractions of family, to bless Liz, to bring her to a deeper adoration of you. Clean off the “windows panes” so we can encourage each other more, as you lead, bringing our friendships into a richer season. Liz is hungry for you Father and you have promised, “When you get serious about finding Me, and want me more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed” Jer 29:13

Pappa bless Liz heaps, so much so that turning forty will be a season where her life reveals you like a “standing stone” in HiStory.

Kyler Jacks Story ... So Far

on Tuesday, November 18, 2008


This morning I woke up with my baby boy nussling in to me looking for his breakfast. It is one of my most favourite places ever, hearing his contented gurglings, having him tug at my shirt and kicking off the covers. His baby smells, even if they are a little suspect, register even before I open my eyes and he has obviously been smiling at me before I have offered him a thing. This happy place seems so far removed from the ICU three months ago.

Mommas are in their element when they can kiss their baby’s boo boo’s better. So what happens when I can’t do that? When their most desperate need is outside my skill set? Being no closer to the answer, I continue to deal with an intense frustration each time I’m at the end of me.

The end of me came once again in July 2008, although me was able to continue through someone else; Sydney Children Hospital's Intensive Care Nurse, Michelle A. Why is it that with some, there is an instant repore, a trust and liking that takes others years to build? She took control of situations in a firm but emphatic way, being able to scrape me off the floor to action as well as maintain momentum on Kylers care. The very fact that she was on each night, I could allow myself to connect with someone as I was there alone with this crisis. This connection gave her access to trust in me that isn’t usually very liberal and in return, allowed me to relax and regenerate. I believe this was a good chunk of the impetus that allowed a not so good situation to flourish.

Kyler is seven months old now and two flu’s later, is still prospering, very energetic and probably given a little too much grace. He has a particular aversion of anyone touching his nose though …. coincidence or is it because of the CPAP tubing up his nostrils?!

Thankyou Michelle and all those who I know worked with you to give Kyler a little push to start off life. Sure it was your job as is mine to raise my baby. Although I possibly would have been made redundant if yours had not been worked well; be it your job or not.

Colin "I Want My Mummy" Buchanan

on Monday, November 10, 2008

(click pic for his site)


Merely a very spontaneous back slap of no particular purpose other than to encourage one Mr Colin Buchanan to continue to shine, or should I say reflect Christ, as he already has. Random thought I know but if I’ve learnt nothing in my “”achem”” years here on earth, I’ve learnt to thank those who inspire you so they are primed to inspire you and others more. Having said that, I should also exalt Mrs Buchanan, his wife …… for sharing her Mr with the millions around his circle of influence … and then theres the kids. They don't have a dog do they?
Just “thank you” seems to merely hit the mind and misses the heart altogether, although if I continue rambling like this, my thanks will miss both so I’ll tell you what prompted my appreciation.

My older children grew up on Sesame St, Play School and Colin. We are all very well versed on words and tunes and my husband can really snore a mean “Remember the Lord”. But as the older children grew up, so did their music. We moved and breathed to Reliant K, Third Day, Building 429, Cutless; I find a quiet corner and loose myself to Casting Crowns.

But balance came to the young adult invasion when my three year old disassembled our cd case and found Colin's CD. There hasn’t been a day since then that Colin hasn’t shared at least a few hours with our family at decibels which leave Kutless for dead. What I marvel at is that truths are been soaked into my smallest babies lives in a way they can hear, and my biggest babies are enjoying “getting down” right along side him as their childhood memories, of up to eighteen years ago, are sparked.

The most surprising aspect of all this is that the cd is almost two decades old and actually still works without missing a beat. We just replaced our year old dvd player which was replaced only months before that. Whoever is praying over these cd’s needs to be kept on. Who knows. Maybe the original cd will even be around for my children’s children to rock on too but if it doesn’t, you can be sure that they will still hear the music their folks grew up on not only physically but Spiritually.

Huge High Five Colin