Kyler Jacks Story ... So Far

on Tuesday, November 18, 2008

This morning I woke up with my baby boy nussling in to me looking for his breakfast. It is one of my most favourite places ever, hearing his contented gurglings, having him tug at my shirt and kicking off the covers. His baby smells, even if they are a little suspect, register even before I open my eyes and he has obviously been smiling at me before I have offered him a thing. This happy place seems so far removed from the ICU three months ago.

Mommas are in their element when they can kiss their baby’s boo boo’s better. So what happens when I can’t do that? When their most desperate need is outside my skill set? Being no closer to the answer, I continue to deal with an intense frustration each time I’m at the end of me.

The end of me came once again in July 2008, although me was able to continue through someone else; Sydney Children Hospital's Intensive Care Nurse, Michelle A. Why is it that with some, there is an instant repore, a trust and liking that takes others years to build? She took control of situations in a firm but emphatic way, being able to scrape me off the floor to action as well as maintain momentum on Kylers care. The very fact that she was on each night, I could allow myself to connect with someone as I was there alone with this crisis. This connection gave her access to trust in me that isn’t usually very liberal and in return, allowed me to relax and regenerate. I believe this was a good chunk of the impetus that allowed a not so good situation to flourish.

Kyler is seven months old now and two flu’s later, is still prospering, very energetic and probably given a little too much grace. He has a particular aversion of anyone touching his nose though …. coincidence or is it because of the CPAP tubing up his nostrils?!

Thankyou Michelle and all those who I know worked with you to give Kyler a little push to start off life. Sure it was your job as is mine to raise my baby. Although I possibly would have been made redundant if yours had not been worked well; be it your job or not.


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