Ahhhh, stick gook on your face on vegetables on your eyes and us girls are like pigs in mud, metaphorically speaking. But I have to ask. Is having our face draped in yesterdays salad the real reason for such bliss? I'm thinking it's possibly more than that. Maybe a greater contributor is found in having the space to stop the constant forward motion of the body, to not be anticipating what balls are coming down in a steady stream of juggling, to soak and be still ..... And then the mind starts. Is anyone else the same or is my man the only one who will have this rare pleasure of forever been overwhelmed, errr, stunned by his wife's thought pattens? He is learning to adjust to my compulsive thinking though and has even devised his own plan of attack to cohabitate without becoming a victim to confusion. For instance; before we go to sleep, laying in the dark in bed [stick with me Liz, this is not an uncomfortable picture], Mark coaches me to let out the contents, the issues whirling in my mind to be able to close down all the pop ups, the open boxes in my head so I can sleep; and then, after I've dumped all my unresolved problems on him, he lays awake wrestling with the contents of my brain with it's bizarre twists, and metaphors, and paradoxes...... hmm.
on Monday, April 20, 2009
But some stuff in there is worth transcript. Bits of revelation that seems to be always paired with the words, 'a God thing'. These are the tasty bits, the ahhh moments, where you breath in real deep and savor the moment and the following paragraphs is a chunk of thought that fits that description.
If I live to win, I can loose; if I live to fearfully protect, I can suffer loss; if I live to be accepted, I can be rejected; if I live to find purpose in what I do, my best efforts can be ridiculed; if I live to gain love and approval, I can be misunderstood; and if I live to gather and collect, it can deplete my life with clutter. But live from the honesty of who I am NOW; positioned as a child adored, nurtured and enjoyed by my creator and papa, who is never dissappointed in me because of His Grace, there I wallow in substance, belonging and purpose.
Being comfortable in my own skin is a treasure I am gradually discovering. To be comfortable alone in a crowd, to be judged and not need to defend, to live from a solid substance of truth knowing that is who I am, where I am now and not being ashamed that in my journey of growth, this is the very best me at the moment. Leaving behind the manufacture of masks and image and standing proudly among my strengths and weaknesses, humbled that I am made in His image. Knowing that being misunderstood, mistreated and looked over doesn't make my over lookers my enemies. Loving others not by aiming to just please and flatter but by sincerely declaring their greatness and orbiting them into their own destiny. Shining because of Him, knowing He is big enough to deal with any tarnishing of His reputation association with me contributes.
And enjoying him enjoying me, enjoying Him. Facials cant touch that although if they did, it would be more like a facial on the inside.