6th In The 6th Photo Tag

on Monday, June 29, 2009

Here's a bit of fun. Never done one of these before but I can do different. Sandra over at 'A Groovy Kind Of Life' Tagged me to select the 6th picture in my 6th photo folder and give an insightful, creative and delightfully entertaining description of the story behind the photo ... no worries mate!!

We were kicked out! Mark had banished me from my own home. The kids and I could not go back even if we crawled, groveled, begged, whined, manipulated, bribed or seduced. That was it.

So I did what any well educated, refined and socially apt woman would do.

I ran home to mommy and daddy.

This was to the same mom who told me on my wedding day that if Mark and I had a fight, she would take his side!


Good thing we weren't fighting!

Even better that my amazing man was in fact, looking after his wife [that be me] and his babies.

Our timber floors had become thread bare; unpolished; splintery even. So he sanded, buffed, polished and lacquered our floors within an inch of their shiny lives whilst living outside for a week with the plethora of slithery, stingy and bighty creatures that non Australians believe inhabit our country.

Meanwhile, back at Granmas, we were going boating with Poppy .... hard to take but some just have to endure it ... for the sake of all boating suppliers out there .... think of the families they have to support!!

Pop wrapped his ten grand babies in layer after layer of floatation gizmo's, [Naomi is exhibit A in the photo] popped them in the Tinny* two by two, and hooned around the Brisbane Water's in a serene kind of boaty stupor.

Was nice.

Men got to be providers and do. Women got to be relational and be. And kids got to be free and live.

* - Tinny: small outboard boat maybe it's name derived from the fact that it is as small as a tin can.... almost.

My story done ...... now it's your turn. So I tag:
  • Naomi at Hiz Little Rocker,
  • Mary at Mary R Snyder,
  • Warren at Family Fountain,
  • Brad at Presence. Voice. Touch,
  • Genny at My Cup 2 Yours,
  • Holland at More Than I Can Bare &
  • Stacy at Soul Restoration

1. Go to your photo files… Select the 6th photo folder or album.
2. Select the 6th photo in that folder/album.
3. Post that photo along with the story behind it.
4. Then challenge some blog friends to do the same!

Woowy To Enjoy

on Saturday, June 27, 2009

This is just bouncing off Nicole over at "living my life on purpose" who is doing a series on relationships ....

We cannot form a relationship with anyone whilst we are constantly picking at their faults. Even if we just salt a little fault finding into that relationship, it causes a deafness or a hardening of the others heart toward us.

They may as well put their fingers in their ears and sing

'la la la la la la'.

Cannot force, control, manipulate, judge, fault find, criticize into relationship....!

Like Christ we woo, encourage, showcase the "made in His image" greatness in them, and ENJOY them. That's why He created us, why He bought us back into relationship .. not to work for Him [although we do because we want to more than anything] not to have fire insurance or a ticket to heaven [even though we have His Kingdom available to us NOW ... here on earth as it is in heaven] but because He made us so inviting, so attractive, so fulfilling, so fascinatingly irresistible for HIM to enjoy.

Time And Timing Are His

on Friday, June 26, 2009

2 Oct 04 to 27 Oct 05

Who can ever account for the bizarre directions you take and amazing people you meet meandering through the links and connections of the blogasphere.

Some are amusing....

some are pretty....

some are definitely very entertaining....!

This morning though, I was not prepared for the site I visited. My big children had the very rare opportunity to sleeping in whilst I sobbed over a story that transcends into the unknown of eternal. This weeping though wasn't all just of the 'that's really sad' kind but also of celebration of life and new beginnings. Of the pain associated with vulnerability but the gain from the depth that can be felt because of it.

Meg and Ricky's journey left a imprint on my life, a 'standing stone' that will influence who I am and my choices into the future. Read her tribute to her son. {here} It will change you. Below is what poured out from my heart a comment I felt compelled to leave on his site.

Irony is probably not the right word to use in describing the timing of finding Ricky's site. You see, it has been a year this month since my baby boy was on a machine in ICU. He was only months old and already fighting for what we all take for granted ... his life.
The physical and emotional journey of that struggle and further complications could only be walked in God's strength as I had reached the 'end of me' in what I could do to preserve my baby's life. The helplessness and smallness of that place is huge and only magnified further as I now look through still blurry eyes and tired arms at my thirteen month old baby boy. He is the same age now as when Ricky met our Jesus.
We are walking out of this valley although I wonder why He has led me here to meet Ricky. Is He reminding me of the amazing perspective on life He gave me through this journey or of how He expanded my heart to love beyond what I ever thought I could? To allow my heart to feel at a depth that hurts so much yet paradoxically is way beyond any substance of love I have ever imagined? Or how He taught me how to release the need to control outcomes and trust Him unconditionally? To trust that the way He leads and loves through my 'made in His image' heart are precious freedoms?
Am I now [at risk], being out of the urgency, of licking wounds and beginning to structure my life to prevent further pain walking straight out of His freedom? Am I at risk of loosing that perspective of the amazing value He has for life and for the depth of relationship that expands from that? [Am I here to remember the fragrance of His freedom He gave Me when I 'recoginsed' that I am hopeless without Him?] He has a reason, my encounter here is not irony and I anticipate the knowing.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Verticle Forward Motion; trickier than it seems

on Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Don't We All Blog Naked?

on Friday, June 19, 2009

Blank Blogger screen ... cursor flashin'; flashin'; flashin'.

Kinda wish it was Wordless Wednesday cause then I could just find a really bizarre photo, which our family does really well and whack it up here with some quirky kind of caption. Is it possible I have nothing to say?


Highly unlikely!

Maybe I just have too much to say and can't decide between the plethora of thoughts surging through my twenty four seven mind.

More believable?

But then again ..... maybe it's because I have no idea why I write. I mean, been new to blogging, I have to ask. Why on earth do we dig out the utter most guttural emotional depths of our heart and hang them out on the world wide whatsit for whomever to scrutinize? Kind of like striping down naked and blindfolded in the park with Sunday crowds perusing us like artwork isn't it?


So why do I blog?

"Thinking ..... "

"Wondering .... "

"Watching a bit of the movie that the family are engrossed in .... "

"Thinking about something totally unrelated ..... "

"Climbing into the refrigerator as a form of procrastination topping up my already full belly ..... "

Maybe I can find clues to my question by asking a different question; "why do I read?"

Could it be for the community that grows from connecting and leaving comments, or for the gritty gems of truth which have me leave my computer screen a little freer, or maybe for the pure entertainment and humor in how some can regurgitate their daily lives? And I hate to admit it, but it's quite possible that there could also be as a form of procrastination because I don't know how to, or want to progress in my own life. Or even worse, making sure I do life right by checking up on how the 'experts' do it, God ordained, perceived or self proclaimed..... following the crowd.

Your right! It's probably a mix of everything. Although I'm thinking, even this should not shape my motive in why and how I blog? And building on that truth, obviously to manipulate my behaviour to facilitate what I believe would be a success in the blogasphere grasping at hits and comments or showcasing our lives for applause and approval would sadly feed fleshy, Pharisaical persuasions in all of us. Even attempts to build a 'ministry' can be erroneously rooted more in my own value than in an honest Spirit led 'word in season' God works through all of us. All this self rooted motives I want to RUN from, to not get tangled up or lured into. Keep those rocks way out of my backpack.

So how on earth does this benefit either one of us? I hear Him enticing me to put the insides of me out there, to be the older women which I crave and know it will be a sweet place when I can do this with honest and selfless motives. Motives rooted in love ... "I can even sacrifice my own body but without love, it's nothing".

So to blog in Love .... Oh Lord, help. Define that a little more; put some skin on that. How do I feel Your love?! Hmmm ... in this season, what I adore is falling further by the simple act of surrender, into Your Grace and sensing Your approval and enjoyment before I 'do' anything. I watch and feel You wallow in the "made in His image" creation I am, enticing out Your greatness through my hands and feet.

Well that's a place to start I suppose; recognising His fingerprint and image in others and then using my "fishes and loaves" skills and passion for the manipulation of words to display His truth through the stories and people in my life.



By the way, I prefer not to be naked or blindfolded so please; talk to me. Use that comments thingy.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Putting My Toungue Where My Tail Will Be

on Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Where'd The Road Go?

on Sunday, June 7, 2009

Remember trying to see how many uni students you could cram into a v-dub beetle?  Well, that's what we did with out Saturday.  Although it was a v-dub beetle, it was our troop carrier and it wasn't uni students; it was our family .... all twelve of us.  

In our "not so squeezy" state,  entombed like Egyptian mummies, we followed six other four wheel drive vehicles into search of the nastiest and sloppy looking, dirt tracks.  To picture our situation a little better for those who are more visual .... it's like God picked up our troopie and shook it. For once, the boys were not cautioned for headbutting; I jest really.

Our men were in their "testostronal" elements, whooping and grunting, scratching and far .... err .... well, they were enjoying themselves and I really loved watching them enjoy themselves even if it was fed by them feeling more manly compared to my less courageous vision of where our only working vehicle could drive.

Seems like a worthy metaphor for how I am feeling at the moment though.  We've been crusin', working, planning, doing and it appears in the process of busyness, the road has vanished like in the video;  it's either just dropped away or became overgrown but it definitely looks like I will be doing some 'bushbashing' if I am to be moving forward.  To use a more Christianeze term, I will have to step out in faith.  And that is as daunting as having to put the troopie down that cliff.

So to avoid stalling or even worse, procrastinating, I will go with what I know, with where I believe my Father was leading me last.  Bits of my life don't look anything like other families around me but I know I wasn't called to conformity so I wont be looking to "same" as a signpost.
 Some bits of my life just look to me down right scary so I ask Father if I'm walking into a minefield and TRUST that He will tell me if I am. And I'll definitely be simplifying and getting rid of dead wood so as not to use any unproductive energy... a bit like cutting back some trees to see if I can find the track again

Daunting? Yep   Scary?  Sure!  But sure beats sitting in the one place or going around in circles.  And it's crowded and noisy enough here to remind me that I am definitely not travelling alone.

Why Is It Such A Big Secret?

on Monday, June 1, 2009

  A question was posed in "The Secret" at Perichoresis ; Why do we struggle to taste or see the depth in life, or the greatness and beauty in a child, or the amazing complexity of a flower?  Why can life for some be flat and bland regardless of huge efforts?  The book leads to divulging the secret ..... 

This is such a 'now' story for me as He revealed to me how much I had overlooked in my life, how much I had missed, how little I had tasted, how often I lived off the surface of the wealth that surrounded me. I was missing the depth and "life" of what was in front of my face.  But maybe I should back up a bit and divulge a few other truths He has shown me since.

He has been making real my identity in Him ... how I look through the eyes of the One who made me.  He has told me I can't disappoint Him because of His grace, that my life was created to share with Him {relationship} and is a response to who He is.  I am valued and have purpose because He made me {that way} therefore I do;  it isn't the other way around ... I do, work, strive  because I need to become or prove to myself and others, that I am valued, belong or have a purpose. The first way, recognising my value in Him is living in His Grace, the second of striving for my own value is living under the law.  Under the law, I spend my life and energy wholly trying to procure my needs of value, belong and purpose from others not realising that I HAVE THESE NEEDS MET ALREADY.   He told His son three times that "This is my Son, Whom I love; in Him I am well pleased!" We have the same inheritance … we are in Him.

From this place of Grace, from realising I don't have to procure my own value, I find FREEDOM.  Freedom from having to meet my own essential needs like an addict frantic for her next fix.  My needs are met. It is finished by Him.  Done for me.  Who was it that said, "I was freed for freedoms sake."  They were right.  I am freed to be me..... sounds like a great name for a blog hey? hmmmm. 

Now I can live sensitive to the desires He created in me which were made in His image anyway ....  direct from the Fathers heart.  I can now live freed from having to try and fill my own tank {which is impossible for me to do anyway} and have the time and energy to notice the people around me and respond to them with a response rooted in His goodness to me.  I am now free to initiate a celebration, a work of beauty or to manifest who He made me to be which ironically gives Him glory, reveals more of Him to those who are around me.  

I am free to shine like a star giving credit to it's creator, like a work of art makes famous it's artist. I am free to stand as a signpost pointing to the core of all existence, all that has substance, all that will ever find any satisfaction or fulfilment in my life. He has taken my broken life with bits missing {Him} and fixed me.  

My journey is now Him revealing to me His heart, His reactions, His purposes.  How He initiates and reacts.  See, I now have the time to hear and see and revel in these amazing revelations as my focus is off me and my eyes glued to Him {hmmm can I walk on water too} ... not because I have to though, but because I want to.   To marinate in His wonder and substance is the first order of the day as I’ don’t need to strive to fix myself or elicit my own needs.

Sure, He is still renewing my mind from lies that have me walk into walls, pits and dog dirt but as He reveals those erroneous beliefs, it allows me to ask Him to show me the truth, show me why I believed a lie and it's usually tied up in my previous ‘value procuring need’ which amazingly, no longer has the dramatic pull on my life.

So what does this have to do with the tasty, deep bits of life? Actually, I have to admit that I am feeling a bit like a fish out of water.  What I knew and was rotton but comfortable is now gone and CHANGE is taking it’s place …. Ahhhhh.  But that’s good!!!  {right?}  See, no longer is my day filled with goals and visions of the “making of myself” therefore I have the time, the headspace, the inclination and desire to see things as they are, to study them, to unpack them and to be blown away by them. God decluttered me BIG TIME.  Simplified even.  Life is emerging now with a deepening quality, a fresh substance a tastier palette which I find myself desiring, following, even chasing after.  

And the secret: Immanuel ~ God with us. 

“In Him we live and move and have our being”