Beefy Baby

on Sunday, August 30, 2009

Really. I just thought our cow was loosing it. I had spotted her walking backward. The first time I thought my eyes were fibbing. Bizarre thing to see. Like some kind of bovine moonwalk. All kinds of crazy behaviour is to be expected from an expecting heifer.

But birthing now? No. Inconvenient.

The "holder of the knowledge of all things cow" was having a kid and dad day four wheel driving. And last time I helped a cow birth {like childbirth but not}, I almost lost my wedding ring trying to get two calf legs forward in the business end of things!

Ok. Think I just lost most of my readers but probably safer that way cause I have illustrations too.... although I have to admit. The last picture is so very cute.

And I will draw breath for just a minute to reiterate that I am NOT a country girl either. 'At heart' maybe but I was city born and bred. Know a lot more about running after trains than after sheep in need of a haircut; about feeding kookaburras on the back fence than chooks wanting their tucker; know more about picking food off a shelf at coles than from a tree or from the vege patch or ..... {gulps} .... heaven forbid ..... {whispering now} from the rump of a baby cow. {lip quivers}

Don't think I will ever get used to eating our own meat. Why is eating beef that you have met so much sadder?

But I have diverged.

All I could do was take her from the paddock to the garden so she didn't loose her baby in the river and pray that the backward motion would create enough resistance to slow the exit of a calf.

Fastforward hours and .... {yawns} ... hours.

Bambi has wanted to be REALLY close. Yes. If she could go through the front door, she probably would have. Emotional bolstering; Us her people.

So she settled in for a cosie homebirth ... in our front garden .....

..... and we watched as our milk bar subdivided, as one cow become two. It was rough yet beautiful, messy yet so wholesome. Nothing dainty or neat about birthing. Pain and mess and effort!

Made me wonder why I try so hard to have life looking so together when it's obvious that out of the struggle comes life. I should be embracing more of those tricky bits of my existence and call them 'birthing'.

The next crisis could be me in 'transition'. Times when I'm most vulnerable, exposed, hurting, overwhelmed, directionless, frustrated .. {place another trillion adjectives here} .. are the times when I am on the verge of newness and life.

And life is gorgeous. Look!.

A chocolate cow. A girl. No freezer coffin for this one. Maybe she will give us some chocolate milk?

Knowing the Knower of all Knowing

on Friday, August 28, 2009

My baby was caught catching up on a bit of light reading this morning.

I'm not surprised. If he has any of my genetics, he will be wondering about the how of things with a disturbing passion for many years yet.

Some crave chocolate, others stuff .... for me, it's information.

Ok. Carbs and chocolate are pretty good too but I have to admit. There is nothing like a truth sinking into my knowing and expanding my heart even beyond any expectation of feeling. Didn't a guy called David describe it as "apples of gold"? Odd metaphor but I totally agree with his implication.

Sometimes though, thinking starts to invade the 'who' of me. I loose sleep because I have a trillion boxes still open in my head, my thoughts have become so micro managed, I loose even the most basic perspective on life and I start to psycholanalyse everyone instead of just enjoying them.

I can just see my husband nodding enthusiastically and silently standing in empathy with spouse's of those suffering from "terminal thinking".

But it's not all bad. Truth and greatness are well worth the chase given I remember that it's one thing knowing how but definitely another thing knowing the knower of all knowing.

One will provide a fleshy compulsive strive for information which leads to self reliance and pride and independance. The other will establish me in the amazing journey of finding the creator of "all things how", the source of all things that were, and are and ever will be, not as some disturbing "eternal kind of google" but as One Who knows the most intimate parts of me yet still desires to KNOW me.

I'll restrain myself from saying 'HOW' and just instead say 'WOW'!

3 Hour Barking

on Wednesday, August 26, 2009

~ Wordless Wednesday ~

I Do Follow

on Tuesday, August 25, 2009

It's really hit me lately on how much we all enjoy response and I don't just mean the bloggerised "comment and hit count" kind.

Response to a job well done or a creative activity we have poured ourselves into or for being someone others just like being around. And what wife doesn't love response from their husbands when communicating and via versa. What husband doesn't want response from their wives when ... err ... when {heck my kids read this} when doing what guys love to do with their wives. I guess God created us for Him to enjoy initially, so that we could 'respond' back to Him as He adores us.

Cool Ahh moment this one.

Sure, we don't need it but isn't life more substantial when feedback, interaction and appreciation is bandied around. I have to admit that when I was younger and a little more insecure, my behaviour was channelled a little too much by my procuring of response. Now it's becoming more the icing on top of the sweet cake of living from who I am.

Was swishing this around in my brain and then I got Graces' email. She blogs over at Beyond The Black Stump and encouraged me by giving me this "I do follow". Thank you Grace for being an encourager and for all of you who do affirm me in whatever it is that I do here ... turning into words the plethora of thoughts that have been tossed and prodded and processed and then regurgitated into either my husbands ears or onto the blogspace that has my name on it. Yes, my husband DOES in fact, encourage me to blog ... then he can process my thoughts one at a time instead of the deluge I usually drown him with.

The world is fattened by encourager's, by those who pull out the greatness in others to share with all. Really, any fool can showcase our faults. Takes a secure and well trained eye to dig the mountain of dirt from a person to find the nuggets of gold.

I love my gold diggers.

Slow Down Dunes

on Sunday, August 23, 2009

Talk to anyone I know in the skin and they will tell you that I have been looking forward to not having so much in my thinker, to doing 'boring' for a while, to slowing down.

.... and when I do SLOW DOWN, I'm not entirely happy either .... see?!

...... Go figure.

Guess I don't think I really know what I want. So I may as well trust the manufacturer on the stuff that He sends my way. Anticipate my days without having to pre-arrange a different kind, type, size, timing ...... or speed of life.

Said it before but now more resolved to live with expectancy. Not expectation. Brain, get it, get it, get it!!!

Post Note:
I hit Mach 4 sitting on the board deafening all those within a 2 mile radius but alas, no tape.

Post, Post Note:
Kids shorter than my belly button absolutely FLY down sand hills.

You Want Me To Leave The Car Where?

on Tuesday, August 18, 2009

~ Wordless Wednesday ~

Fruit Chasing

on Saturday, August 15, 2009

If the wind isn't blowing, days are usually warmer spent out on our deck. I can sit on the old lounge and look across the valley to the river backdropped by the mountains. This view is captivating, the sounds stilling and the smells definitely country. No better classroom hey? The very scene that lured me away from everything I knew and was comfortable with in the city.

Today though, my focus didn't even make it past our boundary fence. On the other side of our pool is a carob tree. We planted it there hoping it would provide shade for summers in the water. We did not realise however, how slow these suckers grow. A native gum would have possibly been a better option casting shade all over the place by now.

But my pondering wasn't remiss of our choice of tree. It wasn't in regret of my lack of botany research. I had sat in this same place almost everyday for close on a decade. Looked out over Gods fingerprint and awed at His reflection. This tree, even though it is part of the scene, has always been looked through; not around, not over but through. It is placed prominently smack in the middle of the picture but my attention seems to be commonly captured further down the valley.

Today was different though; this tree had me hooked. Now full and robust, spreading as wide as it was tall, it stood over double my height. This unassuming masterpiece which had started the size of my hand, had kept on through drought, flood, wind bordering house wrecking gales, and without our pandering, had just consistently done what trees do.

Hasn’t needed the scaffold of appreciation or applause to support it’s value, hasn’t set concrete goals, visions or outcomes which can be blocked emotionally shipwrecking it’s life, it just appears to be very happy being what it is, where it is regardless of our input or opinions. This carob is definitely one quiet and solid achiever.

Yes. I know. Bizarre impressions I get from looking at a tree. But even though the looking was pleasant the most amazing impression I believe was beyond the carobs life; more from its maker. Profound, timely, substantial.

Like the tree, my life produces fruit CONSISTENT with where I am in growth right now. Great fruit makes me no better, no more valuable, no holier; it's just what is. A life consistant with juicy fruit will however, find me more freedom, give me a greater quality of life and precede continued depth in my unimaginable growing relationship with my God though ... can't knock that.

Just goes to show that no amount of straining or technique will manufacture outcome from my life that isn't consistent with the truth I have grown to believe. As I discover and live out my life responding to Who He is, I will get better at it and my fruit, the outcomes in my life, will become richer and more substantial.

That truth shared, I will still be tempted by the world to produce a facade that implies my worth. But this only when I believe I have no worth to begin with and decide to manufacture some to avoid the pain of worthlessness.

Again, the world tempts me to produce applause by placing myself in the middle of attention. But knowing that I am valued now, my life is not motivated by approval but now by feeding the desires that are unique and worthy in me that He placed there.

Success also tempts me to race ahead of His timing desiring outcomes from my life way beyond the seasons of my maturity. What I miss in living in the future is the years of enjoying the people in my life now, the lessons that life teaches about who I am and how He feels about that. I risk killing the rich fruit of my life before it even matures.

So from this amazing perspective of living my life wholeheartedly from the depths of the unique bents He knit together in me, copied straight from His image, all for good, I can feel whole and complete, sence the richness of emotion and slow to savor the true 'big rocks' in my life, the gems that have eternal value instead of the elusive chase of fruit or outcomes that a well lived life can only produce.

Now the outcomes of my life are put back into their place of a result of living; not the purpose of my life.

Jesus Loves Me

This song is a bit of the picture of my 'story'. The start where I believed the 'words on the page' although didn't know the author behind them. To the place where I crave the author more than the air I breath.

Grant will lure you to our Father's heart to want to know Him. Perspective is heightened and His word becomes the starting place of an amazing love affair with the author Who will woo you way beyond His 'words on a page'.

Hospital Oopes

on Friday, August 7, 2009

Been on a computer fast so this post probably does well to reflect the state of my rested brain .... thanks Pauline who sent it to me.

Hospital Chart Bloopers

These are actual entries found in hospital medical charts during chart audits. This guy started collecting them as he audited charts until he finally had enough to publish a book. Here are a few of the best....

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. "

Dishy Guy

on Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

My second eldest guy at Forbes Space Centre
.... anyone remeber the movie 'The Dish'?