Today though, my focus didn't even make it past our boundary fence. On the other side of our pool is a carob tree. We planted it there hoping it would provide shade for summers in the water. We did not realise however, how slow these suckers grow. A native gum would have possibly been a better option casting shade all over the place by now.
But my pondering wasn't remiss of our choice of tree. It wasn't in regret of my lack of botany research. I had sat in this same place almost everyday for close on a decade. Looked out over Gods fingerprint and awed at His reflection. This tree, even though it is part of the scene, has always been looked through; not around, not over but through. It is placed prominently smack in the middle of the picture but my attention seems to be commonly captured further down the valley.
Today was different though; this tree had me hooked. Now full and robust, spreading as wide as it was tall, it stood over double my height. This unassuming masterpiece which had started the size of my hand, had kept on through drought, flood, wind bordering house wrecking gales, and without our pandering, had just consistently done what trees do.
Hasn’t needed the scaffold of appreciation or applause to support it’s value, hasn’t set concrete goals, visions or outcomes which can be blocked emotionally shipwrecking it’s life, it just appears to be very happy being what it is, where it is regardless of our input or opinions. This carob is definitely one quiet and solid achiever.
Yes. I know. Bizarre impressions I get from looking at a tree. But even though the looking was pleasant the most amazing impression I believe was beyond the carobs life; more from its maker. Profound, timely, substantial.
Like the tree, my life produces fruit CONSISTENT with where I am in growth right now. Great fruit makes me no better, no more valuable, no holier; it's just what is. A life consistant with juicy fruit will however, find me more freedom, give me a greater quality of life and precede continued depth in my unimaginable growing relationship with my God though ... can't knock that.
Just goes to show that no amount of straining or technique will manufacture outcome from my life that isn't consistent with the truth I have grown to believe. As I discover and live out my life responding to Who He is, I will get better at it and my fruit, the outcomes in my life, will become richer and more substantial.
That truth shared, I will still be tempted by the world to produce a facade that implies my worth. But this only when I believe I have no worth to begin with and decide to manufacture some to avoid the pain of worthlessness.
Again, the world tempts me to produce applause by placing myself in the middle of attention. But knowing that I am valued now, my life is not motivated by approval but now by feeding the desires that are unique and worthy in me that He placed there.
Success also tempts me to race ahead of His timing desiring outcomes from my life way beyond the seasons of my maturity. What I miss in living in the future is the years of enjoying the people in my life now, the lessons that life teaches about who I am and how He feels about that. I risk killing the rich fruit of my life before it even matures.