Hospital Oopes

on Friday, August 7, 2009

Been on a computer fast so this post probably does well to reflect the state of my rested brain .... thanks Pauline who sent it to me.

Hospital Chart Bloopers

These are actual entries found in hospital medical charts during chart audits. This guy started collecting them as he audited charts until he finally had enough to publish a book. Here are a few of the best....

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. "


Warren Baldwin said...

Hilarious! Shows that the funniest things don't have to be made up! We just have to listen to and watch what is around us.

pathfromtheheadtotheheart said...

Love that you went on a computer fast too! Was it wornderful?

christina said...

Oh my, these are better than David Letterman's Top 10 lists. Of course, I know there's more than 10 here...

Brad Huebert said...

Hilarious, thanks for sharing!

Terri Tiffany said...

I totally believe this after working in a few hospital settings:) Makes you wonder and also to take charge of your health. Hoping you have a great great day:))

Cheffie-Mom said...

Oh my! Funny, but a bit scary, too!!

Julie said...

Those were hilarious!!!

Hey, Thanks for stopping by the blog and your comments. Yes, it is liberating... freedom of relationship is liberating. I've been on this path for about 7 years now, breaking free from religion and it's practices. I have found God in ways I never knew... and the sweet taste of freedom. The more I get the more I want... It is for freedom that Christ has come.

It's great to meet you. Hope you'll stop by again! I have a couple of other Australia friends who visit me!


Joyful said...

Those were hilarious!!! Unfortunately, the truth is...some hospital "bloopers" are devastating. My dad remains in the hospital, since March 3rd of this year, mainly due to a hospital error. I wish the mistake had been as simple as misplaced wording, with no further consequences.

Thanks for your comment on my blog today.

Alicia said...

LOL @ the last one!!!!! haha!

momstheword said...

These are so cute! I laughed and I'll have to share them with my husband. He likes stuff like that.

I wouldn't know about the wedgey producing properties, lol, so glad I avoided them...hehehe!

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